Abstract Landscape Painter. Rural Dweller. Lover of Modernist Art and Design.
Endings and Beginnings
It has been a very difficult week following the death of my beloved dog last Friday. The constant companionship of more than 13 years leaves an indelible mark on the soul and a vast empty space in everyday life. She was a very gentle, happy creature, that loved people and, as such, was very popular with both first time and regular visitors to the studio. It seems a cold and empty place without her and our cottage also has lost an element of "home". I find myself challenged by my own words (24 Feb) to "rise up and start again, even through very tough times".
It seems particularly gloomy today as the snow and cold have returned and Spring is temporarily put on hold. However, I do know that when the sun reappears, the flowers, the birdsong, the light and the warmth will make me feel more energised and less lifeless than I do now.
Even amidst the sadness there is always some little spark. At the end of last Friday afternoon, when we were completely wrung out, I sat down reluctantly to check my email and found a newly arrived message notifying me that my painting "The Bright Field" had been shortlisted for the Adrian Henri Poetry in Art prize. It's an honour to be considered for an award such as this, particularly one which is specifically concerned with the inspiration of literature, which is something that I love.
I know that I will eventually get my energy back and go forward from here, but things will always be different. In my experience, when you lose someone things are never the same but you do eventually move on again, carrying something of that person's character within your own. The positive influence that they have had on you stays with you and partly shapes who you will become and what you will achieve. It makes me think of the very old text that says that unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains a single grain, but if it dies, it yields a rich harvest.
It was a pleasure to have known Rosie and an honour to have been entrusted with her care throughout her long and happy life. She was the best of friends, and her cheery and loving personality will stay with me always.
All text and images ©2013 Carol Saunderson
